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A new poll coming out today shows that most Americans are so frustrated by high gas prices they are planning to vote for whoever brings gas prices down, even if it means we have to castrate the kids again.
The new Gallup poll comes amid a midterm election cycle that may be decided by consumers who desperately want lower prices on gas, food, energy, housing, and the Lego Death Star.
According to the poll, 67% of Americans say, “Yeah, get gas prices down. Let’s castrate the kids again.” Then there’s 21% that say they would be in favor of castrating and mutilating kids for any reason. “I just love doing it.”
Only 2% of Americans say no. “I would never vote to castrate children for any reason. Wait. Gas is almost $8 a gallon now. Get me my pitchfork. Come here, Timmy.”
Coming up next, the nation of France is reportedly throwing its support behind the American conservative movement, graciously spending the past week filming a massive campaign ad for the Republican Party.